Hey Look What I Found

How to fold a fitted sheet

 I can't have a post this short so here are some puns.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Somebody was running a flea circus, but a dog came and stole the show.

Tommy had a photographic memory that was never developed.

There was a fight in the candy store. Two suckers got licked.

Benny was sure that if he had to he could master braille once he got a feel for it.

The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint?

A: Red paint.

Whats green and has wheels?

Grass, I lied about the wheels.




Posted by Tanner Peterson
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Fireflies

Kelle Asked:

Dear Tanner,

Why are there not as many fireflies out as there was last year?
What's the square root of pi?
How do they make milk glass?
And,
Are you missing a green t-shirt? How about some Chick-Fil-A sunglasses? And some pink leggings that I found by the swing-set, that I'm assuming are Ember's? lol.

Until next time
Kelle :D


Kelle

Maybe because you weren't paying attention like last year, maybe they just moved on.

1.772453850905516

Milk glass components have changed over the years, but the process of making the glass remains relatively the same. Milk glass is made up of half silica, or sand, which is mixed with other chemicals and minerals to give it the milky color. The mixture is heated to a high temperature and melted to a liquid. This liquid is poured into metal molds and sealed until cool. When the molds are opened the glass pieces are shined and buffed, and some are hand painted.

puns

I usually take steps to avoid elevators.

Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no common scents.

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.




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Renee's gone crazy

Renee Asked:

Dear Tanner,

I just have one question I've been meaning to ask you. (Yes, just one question. I'm alllllmost a super genius too, but not quite.)

If I began eating myself, would I slowly start to double in weight or slowly start to disappear?

Yours truly,
Renee

ps- just to test your memory.... if 6+6+4+4=2, 8+8+8+8=? :D

Renee

You have to consume 3200 calories to gain a pound, so you would start to disappear and the fatter you are the longer it will take.

=8

Emma asked:

Why does your blood turn red, when it is blue?

"Snoopy"

Emma

Your blood turns red the moment it hits the air.

Pun

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.



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Math Problems

A friend Asked:

Mr. Mars lover,
Do firetrucks get in accidents?
What is the opposite of home?
Do sheep sleepwalk?
What is unique about a goats eyes?
Which barnyard animal's sound can echo?
What kind of paint do workers use to paint the street lines?
who invented the electric chair?
10*10*09*02*03*1*10*01/30+00*08*0*01-80=???

That is all,
Please allow my name to be unknown.

Thank you

Dear friend

Yes, firetrucks have accidents, all motorized vehicles have accidents.

The opposite of home is homeless?!

People sleepwalk, so why can't animals.

Goats rectangular pupils give them 320 to 340 degrees vision so they don't have to turn their heads to see around them.

Most of them it depends on were the farm is, like if it's by a cave most of them will echo, but if they are not by a cave only elephants will echo.

They don't use paint, they use polymer tape glued to the road.

Employees of Thomas Edison.

the answer is, -80

Pun

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.



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Just go to Sleep

Laura Asked:

*cheering for Mollie's plug for Owl City*

Questions:

If I'm so impossibly tired, why is it SO hard for me to go to bed at a decent time?!

If you could visit a planet, which would you choose, and what kind of cookies would you pack?

IS there really a way to neatly fold a fitted sheet? (I'm inclined to believe it's a mythical idea, impossible in real life)

Why doesn't my goose sing as loud as thy goose? (oh wait, that's a song, nevermind that.)

What's the best way to stop the hiccups?

May I have your chocolate bar?

[Laura out]

Laura and Mollie

The problem is I have never wrote a song, so know one knows.

Laura

You must have some sort of problem.

Mars, I would want to be the first. I would pack mint double stuff Oreo cookies, oatmeal cookies and girl scout thin mints, can't forget to bring milk.

It is impossible to fold a fitted sheet, as a matter of fact it is impossible for me to fold anything.

The best way to get rid of the hiccups is to drink water from the opposite side of a glass filled to the brim.

Ah, yes?

Never mind is two words

Kelle

Lapsarianism is the set of Calvinist doctrines describing the theoretical order of God's decree (in his mind, before Creation) in particular concerning the order of his decree for the fall of man and reprobation. The name of the doctrine comes from the Latin lapsus meaning fall


I just did an all nighter.



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Comic Relief

Tasha Asked:

You would probably be the 'comic relief' in those sports. I think you'd be good at that, and quite unique.

Why do people cry if they laugh too hard?

Do genius people know they are geniuses, or do they only think that from what others tell them?

Why are Guinea Pigs called Guinea Pigs when they do not come from Guinea and neither are they pigs?

What is the difference between being 'gifted' or a 'freak'?

How does music, if played a certain way, make us happy or sad, or excited or tired or some other emotion? Why do we get sick of some songs sooner than others? What makes some noises beautiful and others unbearably annoying?

Now, if you can answer these things for me then I won't have to spend ages trying to find the answers on Google.
Many thanks!
Tasha

P.S. I have one other question, it is to do with your style of writing. I looked up genius in my Webster Dictionary, this is what it said; "A high degree of mere aptitude" as original creative power, frequently working through the imagination, in contradistinction to a faculty for effective dealing with existent material' as the intuitve and spontaneous, in opposition to the merely disciplined and trained, over against what works in the main by rule and line.
In other words, shouldn't you use more words to your answers? So that we might broaden our puny minds and more completly comprehend the truth that you share with us? You might even teach me a few new words...

That is all.

Tasha

Wow so many questions.

People cry when they laugh too hard because when we laugh, we put pressure on the tear ducts in our eyes, which forces the tears to come out.

It depends on the genius, geniuses with down syndrome might not know, but a formidable genius like myself, know it.

Guinea pigs got their names from Guinea Africa, and they do come from guinea.

The definition of gifted:  a person with a special ability.
The definition of a freak:  a person with an unusual appearance or behavior.

It all as to do with the instruments used and the way it is played.

If you listen to one song more then another you would get sick of it sooner, unless it is a song I wrote.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but ugliness is universal.

First of all Tasha blogger doesn't have a huge selection to choose from and nobody liked my first design.

yes I should, I will start that next post.
So ask more questions

misspelled words;

intuitve
completly

Pun

After hearing the case of the woman who folded her clothes wrong, the jury had no choice but to hanger.



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